This is an amazing idea, and I think you will like it.
We are going to quickly look at the cultural evolution of sex within the human species, as it was, as it is now, and as it will be.
This idea is based on four books, and my own generalizations and intuitive predictions.
Sex at Dawn
For millions of years, our ancestors were a relatively egalitarian, promiscuous society. We would share mostly everything, from food, to shelter, to protection, to sex. We would share for the survival of the tribe.
In fact, women and men would openly engage in the sharing of sex.
We believe this because our closest biological ancestors are the chimpanzees and the bonobos. Both of them engage in sex very openly, with bonobos being the most sexually liberal of all.
Our ancestral women would also actively engage in sex with multiple partners.
When a woman needed to give birth, she would engage in sex with more than one male partner. By having sex with multiple males, there was no single father, but rather a group of fathers—which collectively ensured the survival of the children.
We kind of know this, because there are tribes in South America that actively do this (or did this before being assimilated into modern society). There would be a male who would “put it in,” a male that would “mix it,” a male that would “pull out,” and a male that would “leave his essence.” Sometimes this could involve up to 20 males for the sake of one female.
Our ancestors also developed tools, and with tools came two things: control of our environment, and control of other humans.
Human males may have been about the same size as females (like in chimpanzees and bonobos), but over time the males outgrew the females in size and muscle mass. This was either for fighting for sex (in gorilla species, the biggest male gets the most sex), or for hunting and aggression.
Agricultural Revolution and the War for Sex
Then 12,000 years ago came the agricultural revolution, which brought the production of food, hierarchy, and larger civilizations. But the power was not distributed equally, and instead, the power was concentrated on a small group of people within any civilization.
The powerful people would control the resources, and thus control everyone else as well. This introduced absolute ownership over property, animals, people, and women.
Women and sex became a resource to commit wars over. Tribes, kingdoms, and empires would invade each other, with one of the prizes being the ability to rape and impregnate women.
This went on for thousands of years, and because women were simply property, they had absolutely no rights. But then again, “human rights” didn’t exist. There was no such thing yet.
As a result, males and females made a sexual cultural adaptation. They could no longer engage in sex openly and freely. Women would seek out males with the most resources to support themselves, as well as their children, while males needed to ensure that the child was biologically theirs.
A psychology study asked males and females what would upset them more: whether their partner cheated on them physically, or emotionally. Males were most upset if the female cheated on them physically. The male needed to ensure the child was his.
Females were most upset about emotional cheating because a male can pay for sex, but still return to the female. But if the male becomes emotionally attached to another female, he subtracts the resources given to the first woman and her child and gives those resources to the second female.
Therefore, a male with a lot of resources could support many females, such as in a harem. But a female could only produce a child for one biological father.
Come as You Are
At this time, sex was also considered a very taboo topic in many societies and religions. Just the mention of sex could be considered unholy or unclean.
The female sexual drive and anatomy remained a “less interesting version” of the male sexual drive. Orgasms from a female were considered a mental disease, and for a long time, men assumed women did not enjoy sex.
If a woman ever mentioned sex, she would be considered a prostitute, or a slut, by almost every civilization. From East Asia to South Asia, to Europe, to the Americas, and almost every other advanced civilization in between.
For example, the Victorian period in England, and its subsets in many parts of Europe, saw the complete suppression of sexual display. Masturbation was considered sinful. Sexual pleasure for women was unimportant, and any mention of sex was almost against the law.
Sexual Liberation
But then 100 years ago, liberalization movements among women in Europe and North America saw women gaining freedoms. Women were gaining the power to enter the workforce, get an education, and to even divorce their partners that they no longer needed.
Then in the 1960s came the sexual revolution. Women were now able to engage in sex openly, with whomever they wanted. Stereotypically, this was seen as the hippie, free-love movement.
Men and women would revolt against social conditioning and engage in sex, drugs, and everything that was previously against the thousands of years of religious and cultural conditioning.
Music became very sexual in nature, such as rock and roll (the rocking and rolling of the beams of a bed), disco, and funk.
Modern Romance
With the introduction of phones, the internet, and now cellphones, there is a huge dynamic change happening. So how has sex and dating changed since your grandparents and parents met, up until now?
Generally speaking, your grandparents and great-grandparents most likely met within a very small radius. Either through friends, their farm, factory, village, or work. They had to settle down very quickly. Losing contact was a dangerous thing to happen, so committing early, simply based on the criteria of starting a family, was the normal thing to do.
My parents met in a ship-building factory in the former USSR, and when asked why they got married and had kids, the answer was simply, because “everyone else was doing it.”
Your parents and grandparents may have stayed together for the simple choice of creating a family. Even if something went wrong in the relationship, the probability of separation was low because the energy involved in finding someone new was too high.
Yet now, with the rapid introduction of technology, the dating environment is changing drastically.
With technology, you are given so much choice now that you are ultimately left with “choice overload.”
This is happening because of ease of communication and mobile dating applications such as Tinder, OkCupid, and Badoo. From within your phone, you have access to thousands of other potential partners within your area. With Facebook, you have instant contact with thousands of potential partners as well.
But with so much choice (because of technology), if something goes wrong with your current relationship, you can quickly and easily find another willing partner.
Thus, keeping a relationship going is like walking on a tightrope. Your partner needs to connect with you on a sexual, spiritual, physical, and even interest level. Otherwise, you open your phone and instantly start connecting with another human being.
Virtual Sex
Yet, technology is moving at the speed of our imagination.
With the internet, you now have pornography. Porn is a huge issue for many males (and some females) around the world. It is a direct connection of heroin or cocaine straight to the brain. Within a few seconds, you can trick your brain with as much sex as you want.
As a result, males (and sometimes females) become addicted to internet porn and avoid real relationships.
Porn addiction is already an epidemic with two-dimensional screens…
With the introduction of virtual reality, imagine you are connected to the porn world with a virtual headset. You use “dildonics,” which are sex toys connected to the virtual reality you are watching.
Short-Circuiting Sexual Abundance
Ultimately, we will be able to stimulate the neural pathways in the brain with some kind of helmet, to experience anything we want—including sexual abundance.
Seeking relationships will fall drastically (fewer males on the market), because of the overabundance of virtual sex breaking the need to find a real-life partner.
One example of this is the “herbivore men” in Japan, who no longer wish to seek out a partner. While there are several factors for choosing not to find a sexual partner in Japanese society, I believe one of these factors involves the ease of access to porn and virtual relationships.
Good or Bad?
Objectively speaking, every transition of our sexual cultural evolution is simply another step. Humans will adapt very quickly. There is no good or bad. So to summarize: sex was shared openly, then women became controlled as a sexual resource and suppressed, then came the sexual revolution in the 1960s, then technology brought an overabundance of sex, and ultimately virtual reality will replace the need for the real thing.
I hope you enjoyed our journey into a broad look at the sexual cultural evolution of humans. Also, keep in mind that these are generalizations. If you want a deeper read, feel free to get the books highlighted below.
Bonus Video
In this video, I cover almost everything just mentioned in this article.
Books Mentioned
- Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality
- Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
- Modern Romance
- Your Brain on Porn
And as an added bonus, check out:
Thanks for reading.
— Leonidas
