This is an amazing idea, and I think you will like it.

We are going to quickly look at the cultural evolution of sex within the human species, as it was, as it is now, and as it will be.

This idea is based on 4 books, and my own generalizations and intuitive predictions.

Sex At Dawn

For millions of years, our ancestors were a relatively egalitarian, promiscuous society. We would share mostly everything, from food, to shelter, to protection, to sex. We would share for the survival of the tribe.

In fact, women and men would openly engage in the sharing of sex.

We believe this, because our closest biological ancestors are the chimpanzees and the bonobo monkeys. Both of which engage in sex very openly, with bonobo monkey's being the most sexually liberal of all.

Bonobos are very sexually open

Bonobos are very sexually open

Our ancestral women would also actively engage in sex with multiple partners.

When a woman needed to give birth, she would engage in sex with more than one male partner. By having sex with multiple males, there was no ‘single' father, but rather a group of fathers – which collectively ensured the survival of the children.

We kind of know this, because there are tribes in south america that actively do this (or did this before being assimilated into ‘modern society'). There would be a male would would ‘put it in', a male that would ‘mix it', a male that would ‘pull out', and a male that would ‘leave his essence'. Sometimes this could involve up to 20 males for the sake of 1 female.

Our ancestors also developed tools, and with tools came 2 things: control of our environment, and control of other humans.

Male violence and aggression for resources

Male violence and aggression for resources

Human males may have been about the same size as females (like in chimpanzees and bonobos), but over time the males outgrew the females in size and muscle mass. This was either for fighting for sex (in gorilla species, the biggest male, gets the most sex), or for hunting and aggression.

Aggricultural Revolution and the War for Sex

Then 12,000 years ago came the agricultural revolution, which brought the production of food, hierarchy, and larger civilizations. But the power was not distributed equally, and instead the power was concentrated to a small group of people within any civilization.

The powerful people would control the resources, and thus control everyone else as well. This introduced absolute ownership over property, animals, people, and women.

Ownership of people as property

Ownership of people as property

Women and sex became a resource to commit wars over. Tribes, kingdoms, empires would invade each other, with one of the prizes being the ability to rape and impregnate women.

This went on for thousands of years, and because women were simply property, they had absolutely no rights. But then again, ‘human rights' didn't exist. There was no such thing yet.

As a result, males and females made a sexual cultural adaptation. They could no longer engage in sex openly and freely. Women would seek out males with the most resources to support themselves, as well as their children. While males, needed to ensure that the child was biologically theirs.

A psychology quiz asked males and females what would upset them more: whether their partner cheated on them physically, or mentally. Males were most upset if the female cheated on them physically. The male needed to ensure the child was his.

Females were most upset about emotional cheating, because a male can pay for sex, but still return to the female. But if the male becomes emotionally attached to another female, he subtracts the resources given to the first woman and her child, and gives those resources to the second female.

Biological certainty of the child was essential for males. Emotional commitment was essential for females.

Biological certainty of the child was essential for males. Emotional commitment was essential for females.

Therefore, a male with a lot of resources could support many females, such as in a harem. But a female could only produce a child for one biological father.

Come As You Are

In this time, sex was also considered a very taboo topic in many societies, and religions. Just the mention of sex, could be considered ‘unholy, unclean'.

The female sexual drive and anatomy remained a ‘less interesting version' of the male sexual drive. Orgasms from a female were considered a mental disease, and for a long time, men assumed women did not enjoy sex.

If a women ever mentioned sex, she would be considered a prostitute, or a slut, by almost every civilization. From east Asian, to south Asian, to European, to the Americas, and almost every other advanced civilization in between.

For thousands of years, female sexuality was controlled and suppressed. It still is in some cultures.

For thousands of years, female sexuality was controlled and suppressed. It still is in some cultures.

For example, the Victorian period in England, and its subsets in many parts of Europe, saw the complete suppression of sexual display. Masturbation was considered sinful. Sexual pleasure for women – unimportant, and any mention of sex was almost against the law.

Sexual Liberation

But then 100 years ago, liberalization movements among women in Europe and North America saw women gaining freedoms. Women were gaining the power to enter the work force, get an education and to even divorce from their partners that they no longer needed.

Then in the 1960's came the ‘sexual revolution'. Women were now able to engage in sex openly, with whomever they wanted. Stereotypically, this was seen as the ‘hippy, free-love' movement.


Men and women would revolt against ‘social conditioning', and engage in sex, drugs, and everything that was previously against the thousands of years of religious and cultural conditioning.

Music became very sexual in nature, such as rock and roll (the rocking and rolling of the beams of a bed), disco, and funk.

Modern Romance

With the introduction of phones, the internet, and now cellphones, there is a HUGE dynamic change happening. So how has sex and dating changed since your grandparents, and parents have met, up until now?

Generally speaking, your grandparents and great grandparents most likely met within a very small radius. Either through friends, their farm, factory, village, or work. They had to settle down very quickly. Losing contact was a dangerous thing to happen, so committing early, simply based on the criteria of starting a family, was the ‘normal thing to do'.

The traditional way to 'hookup'. European wedding in 1939.

The traditional way to ‘hookup'. European wedding in 1939.

My parents met in a ship building factory in the former USSR, and when asked why they got married and had kids, the answer was simply, because ‘everyone else was doing it'.

Your parents and grandparents may have stayed together for the simple choice of creating a family. Even if something went wrong in the relationship, the probability of separation was low because the energy involved with finding someone new was too high.

Yet now, with the rapid introduction of technology, the dating environment is changing drastically.

With technology, you are given so much choice now, that you are ultimately left with ‘choice overload'.

This is happening because of ease of communication, and mobile dating applications such as Tinder, OKCupid, Badoo. From within your phone, you have access to thousands of other potential partners within your area. While, with Facebook, you have instant contact to thousands of potential partners as well.

But with so much choice (because of technology), if something goes wrong with your current relationship, you can quickly and easily find another willing partner.

Dating abundance and ultimately choice overload because of technology

Dating abundance and ultimately choice overload because of technology

Thus, keeping a relationship going is like walking on a tight-rope. Your partner needs to connect with you on a sexual, spiritual, physical, and even interests level. Otherwise, you open your phone, and instantly start connecting with another human being.

Virtual Sex

Yet, technology is moving at the speed of our imagination.

With the internet, you now have pornography. Porn is a huge issue for many males (and some females) around the world. It is a direct connection of heroine or cocaine straight to the brain. Within a few seconds, you can ‘trick' your brain with as much sex as you want.

As a result, males (and sometimes females) become addicted to internet porn, and avoid real relationships.

Internet porn addiction is a real phenomenon that affects millions of males around the world.

Internet porn addiction is a real phenomenon that affects millions of males around the world.

Porn addiction is already an epidemic with with 2-dimensional screens…

With the introduction of virtual reality, imagine you are connected to the porn world, with a virtual headset. You use ‘dildonics' which are sex toys connected to the virtual reality you are watching.

Short-Circuiting Sexual Abundance

Ultimately, we will be able to stimulate the neural pathways in the brain with some kind of helmet, to experience anything we want – including sexual abundance.

Seeking relationships will fall drastically (less males on the market), because of the overabundance of virtual sex breaking the need to find a ‘real-life' partner.

Virtual reality sex will replace the need for real sexual relationships.

Virtual reality sex will replace the need for real sexual relationships.

One example of this is the ‘herbivore men' in Japan, who no longer wish to seek out a partner. While there are several factors for choosing not to find a sexual partner in Japanese societies, I believe one of these factors involves the ease of access of porn and ‘virtual relationships'.

Good or Bad?

Objectively speaking, every transition of our sexual cultural evolution is simply – another step. Humans will adapt very quickly. There is no ‘good or bad'. So to summarize: sex was shared openly, then women became controlled as a sexual resource and suppressed, then came the sexual revolution in the 1960's, then technology brought overabundance of sex, and ultimately sex virtual reality will replace the need for the real thing.

I hope you enjoyed our journey into a broad look at the sexual cultural evolution of humans. Also, keep in mind, these are generalizations. If you want a deeper read, feel free to get the books highlighted 🙂

Bonus Video

In this video, I cover almost everything just mentioned in this article.



Books Mentioned:

Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality

Come as you Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life

Modern Romance

Your Brain On Porn

And as an added bonus, check out:

Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind

More Interesting Posts?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Post comment